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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
WHO IS JACK
SCHITT?



For some time
many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a
loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks
to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is
the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married
O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N Schitt, Inc. They had one son,
Jack.

In turn, Jack
Schitt married Noe Schitt. T he deeply religious couple produced six
children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the
twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her
parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school
dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip
Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather
nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children,
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and
subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The
wedding announcement in the newspap er announced the

Schitt-Happens
nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and
Horse.

Bull Schitt,
the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from
Italy with his new Italian
bride, Pisa Schitt.

NOW when
someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct
them.

Sincerely,

Crock O.
Schitt
 
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